You know what your problem is? You get attached, fast. And once you’re attached to someone, you do everything you can to please them and make them happy. It’s never been about what you want, it’s always everyone’s needs before your own. You give out too many chances to people, who quite frankly, do not deserve them. They take advantage of you, and you become a pushover. But you’re okay with that, because they’re in your life and that’s all you ever really wanted. And even if they screw you over, you’ll still be there for them. Because that’s you, that who you are. Once you get attached to someone, they capture your heart and they always have a place there. And that is why it’s so hard for you to let him go.- Some random tumblr.
Posted by Aisyah Hamid at 6:33 PM
I've never been one of those type of gadis melayu that hold grudges against people. Peculiar and unexpected things that never ought to happen, happened. I tend to let it be. I let it be to the extent where others would think it would make such a lovely hobby to step all over me and thrash me continuously over time. As if they were the Mister Geppetto and I was the Pinocchio they had in control. Played. Lied at. Pushed away. But they all say. Let bygones, be bygones. That cliche quote I chant to myself to sleep every night, praying that the past will behave and stay as it is and not make a daring move to repeat itself. Praying that those in the past, shall remain as the past and not come up to me abruptly and drop a friendly hello that will naturally dishearten the soul.
Stay tough, girl. Keep that heart at rest.
Posted by Aisyah Hamid at 6:21 PM
Long awaited new post, eh? I've just been having those days where nothing post-worthy will somehow magically appear inside my darling mind. So wutsup?
Last month was a compilation of drama, drama and more drama with the self. Yeah, I tend to do lots of self-talking, self-quarreling and self-blaming. But I'm over it, Alhamdulillah for that. No longer that peculiar lass that sulks in the middle of the night, freaking her own self out. I just tend to get all melancholic at wrong timings. Been forcing myself to get the lazy self to go to driving classes every single weekend, which have been replacing my slothing around moments in my cosy bed with endless collection of movies. Which was indeed a wee bit stressful. My driving skills 70.12% depends on my au courant mood, that I can't deny. The times where I was all pissed off, that's the time where everything went wrong. Not pressing the clutch and controlling it well enough and shits like that. My mind tends to wonder off while driving as well. That aint a good thing either.. So, whoever that's hitching a ride with me. Pre-warning, you guys better watch out & get your headgears on.
Am I writing a recount or what?
Heck, who cares. Last week was filled with exams, exams and more exams. First mid-term exam ever in college, yo! No need to be all excited, Aisyah. You didn't do so well did you? Well that question will be answered next week.. or the week after.. or never. That sounded nicer. The exams weren't mind-confusing nor that eye-boogling or whatever you guys call it. Quite moderate. Probably this brain of mine is somehow still wondering in its fairytale wonderland hasn't awaken yet, just yet. I just need another wake up call. Just wait for the results man! If it's 3.5 and below, I'll probably find myself a ditch to hide and never be seen again. Just a thought. But, good news! The P license is in thy hands! Passed the JPJ test smoothly. Happy lass right here! Weren't so happy 'bout the JPJ instructors' attitude though. 2/10 for that mate, yes, I am rating you!
So, what's next? S bloody P bloody M result on the 21st March 2012. Aint all geared up yet to confront the truth but nothing but the truth. I'm just hoping for the best. I've tried my best. So, insyaAllah, with Allah's will, I will achieve whatever is the best for me. MRSM Langkawi, get ready your red carpets 'cos the Veace VII clan will be conquering the school again on the 21st!
Au revoir! Gonna enjoy some John Carter now!
Oh yeah, I need a pretty sleek new domain, anybody willing to chip in some ideas? That would be wonderful, thanks!
Posted by Aisyah Hamid at 9:41 PM