In or out?

I'll put that as a maybe. Today was obviously one of the worst day of my new school life. Scout's marching group, which includes me. Being the so-called commander is not that easy. I'm more like the not-so visible commander. Then a so-called senior just appeared in the scene and started to change all our moves and makes us confuse. But then, without him, I'll be the commander. Which is not good. 1) I don't want to be the commander. 2) I want to drop out of this if I could. 3) This is going to be such a waste! 4) I'll embarrass myself for sure. Negatives. Time for the positives. Na-da! It would better if I drop out, don't you think? But then all the scouts and the teacher will obviously black list me straight away. No fire escapes! Just trap doors which I couldn't go through. All these shits plus the day I'm having makes me equal to a useless dumb mice. Even a mice could be useful compared to me today. Now, not the perfect time to give up. A day of humiliation won't do a harm. Would it?


I hate durians.

I obviously hate them. And my parents and my little bro loves them same goes to our next door neighbour that actually eats durian everyday of their life. So, I guess, my room smells a wee bit like durian. And the room perfume thingy couldn't do anything. In conclusion, durian ruins my life.

This was it.

I didn't know that "real-life acting" could be ever so good. I haven't acted for ages, the last time. It was the drama workshop back in Year 8, 2007. I could get Grammy's for that! (Yeah I know, kinda over) Now, time to complete all my homeworks. Damn it.


I'm sad.

I feel like a useless object. Lifeless. I would be sitting down, staring at an object. Think why, why did she do that? Why? What did I do wrong? As I could remember, I was trying to be a good friend. But the stupid thing is, you said you don't like people to be kind or nice to you. What the fuck. You're not a human with a heart. No-no. You aint got any heart at all. No wonder you're trying to find other people aka those people who you used to talk crap about and I just listened. Trying to be the Number One? Newsflash bitch. You can't. Merci.


It's a revoke

Nearly everybody has been complaining about my Vox. About how they couldn't read them sometimes plus they couldn't comment. Granting people's wish is aint my thing. The goody mood is back online, so I'll grant your wishes!

I just had my exams and the outcome were not satisfying. A few silly mistakes on Mathematics that had put me in a glass box. My Bahasa Melayu was even worse, have a guess lassy and lads. I haven't received all my results yet. Hopefully no rogues. School was uncontrollably dreary and monotonous.

Will somebody please drop me a Java chip frappuccino and Wake me up cupcakes! I'm full of caffeine. Hell yes.



Time for a bash! Thank God I'm done with it, for now. The exams were a deep-clench in the stomach. I secretly afraid about the marks. Afraid about the outcomes. I'm not saying that I haven't studied or anything. Maybe it wasn't that enough. Enough to score all of them. Finger cross. Buoyant, it will be fine. Thinking cap, I think I'm doing well now here. Mes amis here are not that hype nor dramatic. They're more like, "laugh at dirty shits the boys are constructing!" Not my average type, at all. Some of their mood swings frequently, first they're all jolly-like with the boys and next, they're all, "who the hell are you looking at." And this occurs daily. Only one or two gets along with me a little. I guess I won't have a laugh at school, like the old days. Instead, the so-called geek that reads teens thick book a lot. And yes, I'm not comfy either about the garçon there. Oh sugar, I just wish I can be back to where I belong and not an illusion-like place. "Dream on!", that's what the dad says. Currently, nibbling on a bar of Cadbury, this is heaven!



I was moody, again. Nobody knows why, even I don't know myself. I had Science exams today, it was atrocious. I think it was. I actually studied, but all the facts had gone when I received the paper in a blink of an eye. Hopefully no B's. Hopefully. Now, about on the way back from school, some fucktard Form 2's was riding a motorbike and they actually ran into a girl. Yes. Assholes. My dad and myself was there to help her. Thank God. And those fucktards actually said it was the innocent girl's fault and rode away. Typical. Their mistakes that could actually put them into jail for fucktards: 1) no license 2) no helmet 3) rode on the wrong lane 4) are fucktards 5) didn't say sorry, at all. Where's your manners, lad? I was going to spit out some bad words out there. Too bad my dad was next to me, so then, I just went quiet and do as I was told. She arrived home safely with the help of my dad. I feel like a hero. What a freak.


Is it wrong if you're not dainty?

Baisez! I'm having no more of those ecstatic days. Neither, those ravishing moods that I frequently have. I see the pendulum swinging sides to sides with nothing, other than useless motion. I see people singing and strutting lively, which makes me envy. I am craving for my happy days. Add a touch of Galaxy chocolate might do some changes. Only God knows. I wish to do a recount. If only I have the strenght and the will to do it. A few lines would do. These working hands wouldn't write more. Or even key in anything else.


Blow your candles

I'm fourteen today. And it's meaningless.

For those years I've been through, this was the most pathetic day ever. Starting from the moody weather outside in the morning. Until the shouting brother running into my room. Until the drizzling outside. Pathetic. It was really suprising when my friends at school didn't know it was my birthday today. They were suprised and I was suprised. I was really really moody today. Minus the birthday giddy mood. Nani, Hani and the others forgotten it was my birthday. But, oh well, I didn't remind them yesterday. Today sucks hard! Hell yeah! Except the part when Syafiq, Raqib and the other boys sang "Happy Birthday" at the end of school. (laughs hard)

I just had my dinner at Secret Recipe at The Curve. No mood at all. I was gloomy. I was feeling down. I wasn't smiling. How pathetic am I? I feel like smiling again. But I couldn't. I just couldn't. I had cupcakes at Cupcakes Chic. That brought my spirits up! And the books that I bought at Borders. A few more collection of The Clique for me! And I can't believe those people forgotten my birthday. Those! Oh well, not my lucky day at all. What the hell. It's already passed. 40 minutes till the day ends. I couldn't control my mood.

Bye. Thank you to those that wished me. I love you guys! xx

Hopefully next year will be a better year, hopefully!


Washing line

Wanna see my new baby?
I have a long list of the things I want for my birthday until it's no longer fitted the A4 paper. I think, those words in the list wouldn't even be granted. What a waste of time. I couldn't remember how birthdays are usually are. Maybe being happy all day is one of it? Maybe, having fun with your friends are it. How about being miserable and pissed off? Last year's birthday was fun. Totally fun. Including the flour power mess. The throw was unimagined. Funny. I love last year! Excluding the moving from Manchester back to Malaysia bit. But, the school life was great. I can't think of anything good to talk about now. So long.

Oral today. Hope it goes fine. I usually fuss alot and gets nervous easily. Holy crap! At least I'm not the odd one out.

Does My Head Look Big In This?
Randa Abdel-Fattah

I love this book. Alim-ish? Not so. It's about an Arabic living in Australia that has to face everything when she decided to wear a headscarf. I, as a Muslim teenager doesn't think there's anything wrong with wearing it in England. It's already been 5 years I've worn the headscarf fully. Although some people may look at me differently. But, we are all humans. Equal. If you want to say that the scarf is not fashionable. Well, look. It's not just about the fashion. It's the way we respect our religion.


I'm loving it

Munirah. I love Munirah. Munirah loves me. (I sound like a lesbian)

I went to her school carnival today and had fun. Atlast, I got to meet her again after 7 months.



Let's show off a little bit of my geeky daily Runescape life.

What a drag

The ice creams are melting. Time for me to get a new closet full of clothes! Who agrees with me? My life had been such a drag. A heavy drag. Time to get a rest and have fun! (not) 3rd exam on 14th July. This sucks. Why 4 days after my birthday? Why?