In or out?

I'll put that as a maybe. Today was obviously one of the worst day of my new school life. Scout's marching group, which includes me. Being the so-called commander is not that easy. I'm more like the not-so visible commander. Then a so-called senior just appeared in the scene and started to change all our moves and makes us confuse. But then, without him, I'll be the commander. Which is not good. 1) I don't want to be the commander. 2) I want to drop out of this if I could. 3) This is going to be such a waste! 4) I'll embarrass myself for sure. Negatives. Time for the positives. Na-da! It would better if I drop out, don't you think? But then all the scouts and the teacher will obviously black list me straight away. No fire escapes! Just trap doors which I couldn't go through. All these shits plus the day I'm having makes me equal to a useless dumb mice. Even a mice could be useful compared to me today. Now, not the perfect time to give up. A day of humiliation won't do a harm. Would it?